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Always Connected With Thousands Of 鈥楩riends鈥 鈥 Yet Feeling All Alone

AUSTIN, Texas 鈥 Connor Wilton moved here for the music scene. The 24-year-old singer-guitarist 鈥渒new zero people in Austin鈥 and felt pretty lonely at first.

While this capital city is one of the nation鈥檚 buzziest places and ranks at the top of many 鈥渂est鈥 lists, Wilton wasn鈥檛 feeling it. He lived near the University of Texas at Austin but wasn鈥檛 a student; he said walking through 鈥渢he social megaplex that鈥檚 UT-Austin鈥 was intimidating, with its almost 52,000 students all seemingly having fun.

鈥淵ou definitely feel like you鈥檙e on the outside, and it鈥檚 hard to penetrate that bubble,鈥 Wilton said.

Austin attracts thousands of newcomers with its thriving economy 鈥 heavy on tech, startups and entrepreneurs. And with each year鈥檚 South by Southwest (SXSW) Conference & Festivals 鈥 a major interactive, music and film festival opening Friday 鈥 some of those visitors also move here. Apple is planning a $1 billion expansion that will make Austin the company鈥檚 largest hub outside of California. The median age of Austin residents is .

But Austin also ranks at the top among cities with lonely folks in a by the global health service company Cigna. Nearly half of the 20,000 adults surveyed last year reported sometimes or always feeling alone (46 percent) or left out (47 percent). Generation Z (ages 18-22) and millennials (ages 23-37) rated themselves highest on feelings associated with loneliness.

Loneliness, with its well-documented ill effects on health, has been called an epidemic and a public health threat, especially among the elderly. But now experts are finding that the always connected social media mavens in the country鈥檚 younger generations report being lonely.

鈥淵ounger people are genuinely surprised to ever feel lonely and are really overwhelmed by it,鈥 said Dawn Fallik, an associate professor at the University of Delaware in Newark who鈥檚 working on a book about loneliness.

She, along with Julianne Holt-Lunstad, of Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, was scheduled to speak at SXSW Friday at two sessions called 鈥淕eneration Lonely: 10,000 Followers and No Friends.鈥 The close look at loneliness among these techno-connected young people drew so many registrants, SXSW this week added a repeat session at the end of the day.

鈥淭hey鈥檝e been surrounded by conversation their whole lives, so when that silence happens, they have a hard time just being in it and they take it that there鈥檚 something wrong,鈥 Fallik said.

Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology and neuroscience and director of Brigham Young鈥檚 Social Connections and Health Research Laboratory, said, 鈥淭he question that remains is 鈥業s this just a developmental stage, or is there something different about this younger generation that hasn鈥檛 been true of younger adults in previous generations?鈥欌

Holt-Lunstad cited research by psychologist Jean Twenge of San Diego State University that 鈥渄oes suggest this generation of adolescents is indeed lonelier than previous generations.鈥

Fallik said young adults may think more about their own loneliness, prompted by celebrities focusing their attention on being lonely, including Lady Gaga in her 2017 documentary.

Daniel Russell, a professor of human development and family studies at Iowa State University, said the conflict between how many close friends you鈥檇 like to have and how many fewer you actually have may create feelings of loneliness and social isolation. A current study he鈥檚 working on about the relationship between social support and loneliness includes a review of 200 studies and suggests the quality of the relationships may be more significant than the quantity.

鈥淲hat you see is that some people say they are lonely yet report a lot of close friends. Arguably, they鈥檙e not socially isolated,鈥 he said.

Russell said studies about the effects of social media have found 鈥渧irtually no relationship between loneliness and social media.鈥

鈥淲hat struck me about the Cigna data is they weren鈥檛 finding very strong relationships [between loneliness and social media] either 鈥 that it was not statistically significant with 20,000 participants,鈥 he said.

However, some experts, such as Holt-Lunstad, suggest examining how millennials and Generation Z use social media.

鈥淚t could be used to connect with others in a way that facilitates getting together, and that could be very positive,鈥 she said. 鈥淏ut scrolling through someone鈥檚 feed or social comparisons might be negative.鈥

In last year鈥檚 Cigna study, Generation Z had the highest score on the UCLA Loneliness Scale, the measurement for loneliness research.

Its 17 regional surveys found that 60 percent of Austinites reported loneliness compared with 54 percent nationally. Of those surveyed, 60 percent said they sometimes or often feel no one knows them well.

One reason for such feelings is the city鈥檚 population growth, which amounts to 152 newcomers a day since 2010, according to an Austin Chamber analysis of U.S. Census data released two weeks ago.

鈥淚t鈥檚 a super-transient city,鈥 said Elliot Meade, 27, who moved in August from New York City to work in finance.

鈥淭he first couple of months were challenging, but I say that in the context of never having moved to a place where I never had roots before,鈥 he said. 鈥淚 live alone. I would have probably preferred to have roommates. I didn鈥檛 know anyone, and I did not want to roll the dice on a stranger. I had to go out of my way to be social and find common ground and build relationships.鈥

Unlike young workers of older generations, these young adults are less likely to join professional associations, Rotary Clubs or other groups to meet peers. And the organizations don鈥檛 provide the value of connections and resources they once did now that people can find everything they need with a click.

鈥淲hat comes up over and over again is how scary it is for them to reach out,鈥 Fallik said. 鈥淲e have lost those social skills when somebody is sick and you bring them soup or somebody died and you have that visit. We鈥檝e lost that ability to have those talks, and because we don鈥檛 have that now, my students are terrified at those conversations where you鈥檙e looking them in the eye.鈥

However, David Stillman, an author and expert on generational differences, said moving to a new place is a life transition that鈥檚 daunting no matter the age.

鈥淎nyone moving to a new place is in transition and is going to conjure up lonely feelings,鈥 he said. 鈥淚 think about my 81-year-old mother-in-law who moved from Florida to Minneapolis. The first few months, she had massive loneliness. I鈥檓 not sure if that鈥檚 any different from my nephew who went to the University of Michigan in the fall as a freshman and the first few weeks was a little lonely.鈥

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