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The 30-Somethings Who Fled Big Cities To Shelter With Mom And Dad

AUSTIN, Texas 鈥 It took three weeks, but Lawrence and Arlene Maze finally persuaded their younger son, Gregory, of Los Angeles, to get on a flight home to Austin.

鈥淗e basically shut his business down to come here and has to restart his business when it鈥檚 safe,鈥 his father said. 鈥淚t was a very difficult decision.鈥

Alex Rose, a 33-year-old event producer and recording artist, didn鈥檛 need much persuasion. She spent a couple of weeks alone in her 500-square-foot Hollywood apartment, taking long walks to break up the days. In mid-March, her event bookings and performances began to disappear. Then a neighbor showed her video of an arsonist setting trash can fires on their street and she saw the melted cans next to her building.

鈥淎ll of a sudden I didn鈥檛 feel safe anymore,鈥 she said. 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 feel safe, and frankly, I felt totally alone.鈥

The next morning, she and her cat, Eloise, flew home to Austin to her mother and stepdad.

As COVID-19 has ripped through densely populated communities, millennials have fled their own cramped quarters for less congested cities with more room in their parents鈥 homes. They are near family should someone get sick. The familiarity is comforting in an uncertain time. Overwhelmingly, parents and their adult children view the arrangement as temporary. Of course, no one knows how long 鈥渢emporary鈥 might last.

Lawrence Maze said the thinking was that Gregory could help him or his wife if they got sick, and they could help him if he did. Also, they believed Austin鈥檚 health care system would be less stressed than L.A.鈥檚.

鈥淗e鈥檚 lived on his own now for a very long time,鈥 Lawrence said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not like he moved back into his old house. He knows he鈥檚 living in a guest bedroom.鈥

It鈥檚 a major disruption for young adults who have established their lives thousands of miles from home: They keep paying rent on empty places. They have left behind their routines and social lives. Some have lost their work. Others can work remotely alongside parents who are doing the same.

The magnitude of the outbreak has, for a time, reordered American lives. It鈥檚 fostering unexpected togetherness.

Rose鈥檚 mother, Elizabeth Christian, said her daughter hasn鈥檛 visited Austin this long since she was in college, and now 鈥渘obody is rushing off to do anything.鈥

鈥淲e鈥檙e having meals together. And we鈥檙e watching movies at night,鈥 she said.

Christian and her husband, Bruce Todd, a former Austin mayor, wanted to make sure Rose got back before California wouldn鈥檛 allow her to leave or Texas wouldn鈥檛 let her in.

Sarah and Ken Frankenfeld had barely moved into their downsized townhome when the coronavirus pandemic brought their 31-year-old son and his girlfriend from New York City to quarantine with them.

鈥淚 was nervous about how this was going to work,鈥 Sarah Frankenfeld said of their lack of furniture and readiness for houseguests. They鈥檇 met his girlfriend for one evening a few months earlier. 鈥淗e hasn鈥檛 lived here in a while. But it鈥檚 worked and it鈥檚 been lovely.鈥

Kevin Frankenfeld, who works in digital, social strategy and marketing, has lived in New York almost nine years. He and his girlfriend, Maddie Haller, wanted to quarantine together.

鈥淚n Manhattan or Brooklyn, people are just on top of one another,鈥 he said. 鈥淪o we wanted to get out of town.鈥

This shared feeling of lockdown with so much unknown can cause stress and make us feel lonely and anxious, even with others around, said Dr. Vivek Murthy, U.S. surgeon general from 2014 to 2017.

鈥淚n this moment, we have no idea when the pandemic will end,鈥 he said. 鈥淲e don鈥檛 know when our lives will go back to normal.鈥

Well before the stay-at-home orders, Murthy recognized Americans鈥 increased loneliness, prompting his new book, 鈥淭ogether: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World.鈥 Now that many are isolated by themselves, he urges us to 鈥渟tep back and take stock of our lives.鈥

鈥淭he silver lining of COVID-19 is that it鈥檚 given us the opportunity to reset our social lives and remember how essential relationships are to our well-being,鈥 he said.

Rose is doing her own reset. She鈥檚 among California鈥檚 estimated 2 million self-employed. But because of the pandemic, she鈥檚 applying for full-time jobs around the country in digital media and project management.

鈥淲hen I left L.A., I never expected that I would not go back to that apartment,鈥 she said. With her lease up in June, she asked a friend to pack up her place and move everything into storage.

Rose and her mother returned late Sunday from a quick turnaround to California to retrieve Rose鈥檚 tiny 2016 Fiat 500 that was stranded six weeks in long-term airport parking.

Gregory Maze, 33, is a private chef, event caterer and part-owner of a coffee truck business. He moved to L.A. five years ago.

鈥淚鈥檓 fortunate to have a situation like this, but leaving L.A. was not on my terms,鈥 he said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 out of my hands. I really don鈥檛 know what the landscape is going to look like at the end of this.鈥

While some younger adults mock baby boomers with the 鈥淥K boomer鈥 meme, the pandemic seems to have shifted the tone 鈥 at least where parents are concerned.

Suzanne and Stuart Newberg鈥檚 older son, Jared, 27, and his girlfriend, Melissa Asensio, both of Manhattan, arrived March 21 to quarantine together.

鈥淭hey bought one-way plane tickets and we said, 鈥榊ou鈥檙e welcome as long as you need to be here,鈥欌 Suzanne Newberg said.

Jared and Melissa, who both worked full time in their New York City offices, now work remotely from Austin. His three roommates left for their hometowns about a week before Jared and Melissa. Her two roommates left New York around the same time.

鈥淚t was a lot safer and more comfortable to come here,鈥 Jared said. 鈥淲e鈥檙e super-lucky and super-fortunate.鈥

Back in New York, one of Kevin Frankenfeld鈥檚 roommates remains in their three-bedroom apartment. The other went home to Boston. Maddie lives in the same neighborhood. Her apartment is empty now. Both Kevin and Maddie work full time remotely and are glad they鈥檙e not in the city.

鈥淲e didn鈥檛 want to be stuck in a small apartment to isolate in a hotbed,鈥 Kevin said. 鈥淗ere we鈥檝e got a green area, dishwasher and laundry.鈥

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