MEDFORD, Ore. 鈥 Bill Harris is blunt: For more than a year, he has been trying to help his wife die.
The 75-year-old retired tech worker says it鈥檚 his duty to Nora Harris, his spouse of nearly four decades, who was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer鈥檚 disease in 2009.
鈥淟et me be honest: Yes. It鈥檚 what she wanted,鈥 he said. 鈥淚 want her to pass. I want her to end her suffering.鈥
Nora Harris, 64, a former librarian, signed an after her diagnosis to prevent her life from being prolonged when her disease got worse. Now, her husband said, she鈥檚 being kept alive with assisted eating and drinking against her stated wishes.
The onetime Virginia Woolf scholar and world traveler can no longer communicate, recognize family members or feed herself. She鈥檚 being spoon-fed at Fern Gardens, an assisted living center in southern Oregon, after a local judge Bill Harris last summer, concluding that state law mandates that she continue to receive help.
鈥淪he did not want to be in a position where somebody had to totally take care of her,鈥 Bill Harris said. 鈥淲hen nature, through the disease, basically said, 鈥業 can鈥檛 feed myself,鈥 Nora鈥檚 position was, that鈥檚 it. Let nature take its course.鈥
In recent weeks, Nora Harris has been gaining weight, climbing from less than 100 pounds to 102 or 103 鈥 just enough to keep her stable. Bill Harris learned that, in addition to three state-required daily meals, staffers have been feeding Nora optional snacks, too.
Now he鈥檚 considering going back to court to try to stop the snacks in an effort to let Nora Harris lose enough weight to end her life. Twice before, in 2015 and 2016, she fell to 90 pounds and was enrolled in hospice, with six months or less to live, only to rebound, he said, when staffers coaxed her to eat.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e denying Nora the right to die on her terms,鈥 Bill Harris said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not a right-to-life issue, it鈥檚 a right-to-die issue.鈥
The southern Oregon case underscores the complexity surrounding the use of advance directives for people with Alzheimer鈥檚 disease and other dementias.
Advance directives are legal documents that spell out a person鈥檚 end-of-life wishes if they are unable to make their own decisions.
These directives generally allow named agents the power to withdraw artificial hydration and nutrition in the form of feeding tubes, for instance. But when that same nourishment is offered by hand, several states, including Oregon, draw a line, said Thaddeus Mason Pope, director of the Health Law Institute at Hamline University in St. Paul, Minn., and an expert on end-of-life law.
Across the U.S., the more than are typically encouraged to put their end-of-life wishes into writing early and to pick a trusted person to carry them out, said Beth Kallmyer, vice president of constituent services for the Alzheimer鈥檚 Association.
That鈥檚 no guarantee, however, that those requests can 鈥 or will 鈥 be honored. In Nora Harris鈥 court case, her advance directive and testimony from her husband, her daughter and two close friends all indicated that she wouldn鈥檛 want anything to prolong her life.
鈥淭hat court decision basically condemned Nora to the full extent of the Alzheimer鈥檚 disease,鈥 Bill Harris said. 鈥淭hey gave her no exit out of this situation.鈥
But Eric Foster, the court-appointed lawyer who represented Nora Harris, argued that her directive doesn鈥檛 specifically mention food and drink presented by hand. Because she now opens her mouth and swallows when food is offered, she has, in essence, changed her mind, he said in a.
Bill Harris said that opening her mouth is a reflex, an automatic response to six decades of habit.

Nora Harris signed an advance directive stipulating no care to prolong her life, but her husband says state law is forcing her to be spoon-fed against her stated wishes. (Jim Craven for KHN)
Kallmyer, with the Alzheimer鈥檚 Association, said it鈥檚 hard to tell whether someone with dementia is acting out of reflex or desire. The association recommends against tube-feeding for patients with dementia, while also advising what they call 鈥渃areful hand-feeding.鈥
鈥淚f they鈥檙e eating and they鈥檙e opening their mouth, it鈥檚 difficult to say they didn鈥檛 want it,鈥 she said.
Foster鈥檚 stance was backed by a judge who sympathized with Bill Harris鈥 plight, but sided with Fred Steele, Oregon鈥檚 ombudsman on long-term care. Steele said Nora Harris鈥 advance directive wasn鈥檛 specific enough to advise Fern Gardens staff to withhold food and water.
鈥淥ur concern was just focused on the administrative rule,鈥 he said. 鈥淚f the rule exists to prevent a facility from committing elder abuse, our focus was on what the rule required. The rule requires the resident be cued with food and they have the choice of eating or not eating.鈥
Lynn Rawlins, the center鈥檚 administrator, said her hands are tied.
鈥淲e have to feed them until they stop opening their mouths,鈥 she said before a tour of the center last month. 鈥淯nless feeding them causes more harm from aspirational pneumonia or a choking factor. We still have to feed them, even if they choke.鈥
It鈥檚 not a right-to-life issue, it鈥檚 a right-to-die issue.
Nora Harris is a small woman with graying brown hair and dark, confused eyes. On a recent 88-degree summer afternoon, she wore a maroon fleece sweater, gray sweatpants and mismatched socks.
She spoke in urgent whispers, syllables spilling out, unlinked from words.
Bill Harris put an arm around her shoulders reassuringly.
鈥淎bsolutely,鈥 he said. 鈥淥f course.鈥
But he added later: 鈥淚t鈥檚 difficult visiting her, especially when you know what Nora was like before.鈥
That鈥檚 the thorny issue at the heart of advance directives for people who lose the capacity to make their own decisions, said Pope.
If Nora Harris were aware enough to refuse food, instead of passively accepting it, there would be no question.
鈥淒o we listen to the previous Nora or to the current Nora?鈥 Pope said. 鈥淭hat is, unfortunately, not legally or ethically answered well.鈥

Bill and Nora Harris met at the San Francisco War Memorial Opera House in the early 1970s and launched a four-decade marriage that included world travel. Nora Harris was a librarian and a Virginia Woolf scholar who told family and friends she never wanted to be utterly dependent on others for care. (Jim Craven for KHN)
A bill introduced in the Oregon Legislature last year would have allowed an appointed committee to amend the state鈥檚 advance directive form. Critics, including Oregon Right to Life, an advocacy group, opposed the effort, arguing that it paved the way for mistreatment of vulnerable people, including dementia patients like Nora Harris.
鈥淥R legislators move to allow starving, dehydrating the mentally ill,鈥 The bill passed the state Senate, but failed to advance.
Nora Harris鈥 situation also raises issues surrounding a controversial method of hastening death for seriously ill people known as 鈥渧oluntarily stopping eating and drinking,鈥 or VSED. It causes death through dehydration, usually in seven to 14 days.
VSED is being used by a small but growing number of determined patients with the help of their families, Pope said.
In Washington state, board members at End of Life Washington, a nonprofit that supports medical aid-in-dying, created an focused on people with dementia. Soon the group plans to release a new form for people who want to leave instructions for stopping eating and drinking at the end of life.
Medical experts say VSED can be a relatively painless, peaceful death. In the absence of nutrition and hydration, the body produces opiate-like substances that blunt hunger and thirst. With additional painkillers, comfort can be ensured, they add.
We have to feed them until they stop opening their mouths.
An research concluded that 鈥渢erminally ill patients dying of dehydration or starvation do not suffer if adequate palliative care is provided.鈥 of nurses in Oregon who helped more than 100 patients with VSED deaths said they were 鈥済ood鈥 deaths, with a median score of 8 on a 9-point scale.
Unlike aid-in-dying laws or rulings now in place in six states, VSED doesn鈥檛 require a government mandate or doctor鈥檚 authorization.
But the question of whether people with dementia can authorize a VSED death in advance, to be enacted later, when they鈥檝e lost the capacity to choose, remains legally uncertain, Pope said.
鈥淲e don鈥檛 have statutes, we don鈥檛 have regulations, we don鈥檛 have a court case,鈥 Pope said. 鈥淲e have this thing where you鈥檙e allowed to refuse medical care. But this is basic care. Are you allowed to refuse basic care?鈥
For now, the answer in the case of Nora Harris is no.
That鈥檚 frustrating for Bill Harris, who says the emotional 鈥 and financial 鈥 toll of her illness has been enormous.
鈥淭he person you know, the person you married, who you love, is basically going away, fading away before your eyes,鈥 he said.
He had planned to retire from his job at Wells Fargo bank at age 67 but worked an extra eight years to pay for the costs of Nora鈥檚 care, which total more than $80,000 out-of-pocket each year. Because she fell ill at age 56, she didn鈥檛 qualify for Medicare or other government help.
Worse, though, is seeing his once 鈥渆xtremely bright鈥 wife wandering the halls of the assisted living center, 鈥渓ike a zombie,鈥 he said.
鈥淣ora was quite enamored of Virginia Woolf,鈥 Bill Harris said, referencing the British author who drowned herself after years of mental illness.
鈥淚f she had known this would happen, she would have put rocks in her pockets and jumped in the river. This is absolutely where she never wanted to be.鈥
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